Women's Wisdom Wednesdays: The Forgiveness Treaty

The Forgiveness Treaty

Ok...picture it.  You are all alone in a room, completely distraught.  You cannot BELIEVE that someone you trusted, someone you loved, someone you valued could hurt you as much as you are hurting right now in this moment.  Your heart is in pain.  Your head is spinning and the thoughts that are running around in it are not only going too fast for you to focus, but they are negative...perhaps even suicidal.  Your eyes are red-rimmed after spilling tears for hours and no matter what you do, there is absolutely no way you can reduce the puffiness of your face.  

You might as well face it.  You have been duped.  Bamboozled!  Swindled into thinking that this person (your mom, best friend, lover, child, mentor, and the list can and usually does go on and on...) actually wanted what was best for you.

Or have you?

Often times, we allow ourselves to get angry.  In the moment, we feel like we have EVERY right to be upset.  In the moment, we feel like the entire world is against us.  In the moment, we become a replica of Tyler Perry's 'Mad Black Woman', maybe minus the gun-toting, maternal character who just happens to be hiding more than one accessory under that dress.

In that moment, we lose ourselves.  We forget that, in reality, there is NO SEPARATION between us and our loved ones who may have done things that made us feel bad.  They ARE us, in the grand scheme of things.

Choosing to Forgive

I once read a story by Neale Donald Walsh, and I will try my best to relay that in as few words as possible.  In the story, there are two souls.  Let's say that the star or main character (that would be you, by the way) is named Little Soul.  Little Soul had a wish.  Little Soul wanted to learn how to be forgiving in the next lifetime it was going to encounter.  God explained to Little Soul that, in order to truly learn HOW to forgive, Little Soul would have to be hurt.  

There was another character, this one is called Friendly Soul (that would be your loved ones that hurt you, as mentioned above).  Friendly Soul wanted so much to help Little Soul undertake this task, that Friendly Soul volunteered to hurt Little Soul in order for Little Soul to have the opportunity to forgive.

The Buddha said, "Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned."

This quote further illustrates the oneness of us all and the importance of being able to forgive.  

One of my clients, she doesn't understand the concept of forgiving.  She thinks that she need not forgive, because when we forgive, sometimes individuals think that whatever they have done before has been excused, accepted or that their actions were "ok".

I want to make one thing abundantly clear.  Forgiving and forgetting, at least in my mind, do not have to go hand-in-hand.  

We forgive to heal ourselves.  We forgive to be clear and to be able to function properly and to move on.  We forgive because we are Divine beings and forgiving is not always easy to do.

Make a pact with your Self to learn how to forgive.  And once you learn how to...make it a practical part of your life.  Forgiving does not mean that you will always be in a position to always get run over.

Forgiving means that you will always be in a position to grow...and, isn't that what this thing called life is all about?

Be Peace...Be Love...Be Better

Women's Wisdom Wednesdays is brought to you by Ayesha NuRa. 

Ayesha NuRa is an empowerment motivator who focuses on healing and uplifting the Divine feminine. She provides counseling, coaching and expertise in countless areas that lead to empowerment. 

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