Mindful Mommy Monday: Late Night - Bed Sharing!

Good evening mommies!

Today's (or nights rather) post is about Co-Sleeping, Bed-Sharing, Room-Sharing, etc with our bundles of joy!  Recently, BB #1 (Beautiful Boy #1) has been waking up knocking on the door any time between 3 AM - 5 AM.  Our general script was, "Go back to bed!"  Every once in awhile me or the wife would get up, walk him back to his room, tuck him in, kiss him, and walk out with him all upset.  But lately we've noticed that no matter how much he sleeps.. he's never rested.  Which of course was drastically affecting his behavior while he was awake.  

So this morning when my little BB "came-a-knocking" at 5 AM I walked him to the bathroom, "Mom, I wanna sleep with you." .. I looked in his sad little eyes and said, "There's no space in my bed honey."  To which he replied, "I'll sleep on the floor mommy."  I took a deep breath and looked at my son.  What did he need from me in that very moment?  I couldn't deny him.  I had to take whatever chastising I was going to get .. He was sleeping with us!  There actually wasn't space in the bed w/ BB #2 breastfeeding.  But I mad BB #1 a nice fluffy comfy pallet right next to my bed with one of my pillows, kissed him, then drifted off to sleep.  Reports were, he and I snored the night away!  Lol.  I woke up at 8 AM and he was SOUND ASLEEP!  He didn't even flicker.  As I used the time to prioritize my day he opened his eyes and said "Mom I'm still sleepy."  I let him climb in bed with his baby brother and the both slept.  When I came back they were both awake - talking to each other. <3  And fantastically enough the wife agreed that his restful night was a plus!

Now let me say this, BB #1 never slept in my bed.  He's always slept in his crib/bed and has had his own room since 9 mos.  And I can count on 1 hand the number of times I've let him climb in my bed.  But his requests really started this year.  I didn't connect it to anything until that very moment.  Which took my thoughts to mothers that allow bed sharing from the very start.  What do their kids benefit and does it have any long term factors?  What does it do for mommy?  So on and so forth.  Per my "Googling" self, I got to looking around.  

Some links I found: CNN Health BabyCenter PhD in Parenting Tired Tot Tutor

At the end of all this reading I found ... It's really up to you and your family.  There isn't any science showing more pros towards one way or another.  The overall goal is to make sure that everyone is comfortable and getting a good nights rest.  Check in with your mate, make sure your child is resting well, and snuggle up.  There are many reasons your little one may be a bed sharing baby and you wouldn't want to miss out on a chance to truly hear and connect with them.  They may be learning a new skill, feeling scared at night, in the middle of a transition (new school, house, etc), comfort, new sibling, and the list goes on.  You are doing no grave injustice to your child's development by letting them climb in bed.  In regards to intimacy  some couples become more adventurous about their sex life (looking for places outside of the bedroom) when they bed share.  HOWEVER, if your little one sleeps soundly and safely on their own ... Do not switch them up!  

A few tips for avoiding a habit;

• Try not allow it more than two consecutive nights.
• Always put them to sleep in their own bed.  Let them come you.  If they wake up & climb in bed ok, if not EVEN BETTER.
• Reassure them that their parents are close by and that they are safe.  Many children may feel vulnerable and alone.
• Try reading them a bedtime story or having quiet moments together in their bed with the door closed.
• Allowing them to bring their own pillow and blanket keeps a connection to their room and offers parents a little more privacy in their bed.

• Side Note: Always remember to work with what your child needs from you.  Denying their request to snuggle with you at night may be hurting them more than helping them.

Keep in mind no one sleeps this perfect w/kids in bed. Lol.

Mommies have said: 

• I've heard different things from different mommies.  My friend Desiree says "I can't keep my kid out of my bed!"  I don't know that connected mommies really WANT to get their love bugs out of their bed.  There's a sense of closeness and contentedness you feel when their snuggled up to you.  Why lose that if it's not doing them any harm, right?  
• On the other side of that a mommy named Carla says, "I've been putting Ethan in his crib since he was 2 months old and he sleeps very well, through the night, in it. He only sleeps with us if absolutely necessary (i.e. fussy). I'm adamant about him sleeping in his own bed in his own room for 3 reasons: 1. We paid good money for his crib & he's going to use it :) 2. I don't want to start any bad habits that will be hard to break down the line. 3. My husband and I dedicate every waking moment to his every move and we want to maintain a stable sense of intimacy in our marriage."  That brings me to ask, is she such an attentive mommy that he will never long for the extra feeling of comfort through the night?  Or what will happen should he start to request it.

Overall mommies, do what works for your family.  Does sleeping together all bundled up and cozy make mornings easy and enjoyable?  Then do it!  Don't feel bad about laying with your child while they drift off to sleep.  If having you with them brings them comfort ... then comfort them.  Enjoy this moment.  I know most of us are fearful of when they stop hugging us, letting us kiss them, and running up to us after school. 

Until next week;

I love you! <3

Mommy challenge below.  And book details to come later this week.

Hosting Blog: www.itsafabulouslife.com

Mommy Challenge: Week 3 

(click ^^ for the original blog host)

Slow down mommy.  The laundry will be there tomorrow.

With EVERYTHING that a mommy has on her plate it's easy to forget to slow down!  We have work going on, accounts to manage, dinner to cook, a house to clean, laundry to do, errands to run, etc.  Of course we're always moving a million miles a minute.  But lets take a breather this week.  Let's spend some time with our kids doing something they want/need us to do.  Sit and do a puzzle, read stories, watch a movie, just talk, WHATEVER they want!  Our children need to know that we are there listening to them just as we expect them to be present and listening to us.

At least three times this week sit and do an activity with your kid that they want/need you to do.

Ready?  Set.  GO!

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About Mindful Mommy Monday Blogger

Dominique is an owner of In Focus Business Solutions, LLC, mother of two, wife, and student.  She is an experienced Customer Service Trainer and pushes awareness and mindfulness to the forefront of her work.  Her community work is done with mommies and assisting people re-entering the work force.  For more information on iFBS, llc or to contact Dominique email her at: dominiquepap@gmail.com