Mindful Mommy Monday: Up to the Challenge?!

Happy Monday!  I've come to notice that I spend silents moments in my day thinking .. about why I'm feeling this way or that.  And recently I've been comparing how my wife and I were raised to how we are raising our boys.   I mean, think about it.  I thought my mom was the fliest thing going with a car phone and 2-way pager.  Lol.  But there wasn't anyway in all get out that she was going to get me one.  So after deciding to spend $180 on a tablet for my 4yr old, I was faced with this fact ... parenting the way we were raised is nearly impossible these days.  If your Kindergartner can't navigate a tablet or use a computer you're doing them an injustice.  Parenting just isn't the same.  The priority list for what we want for our children has shifted.  I want my children to remember feeling safe, accepted, and understood.  Not to say that ANY of us had "bad" parents but our parents ... raised us ... they got us through.  

They taught us what they knew, beat us when we "needed it", they didn't go out of their way to make us feel "comfy."  Lol.  As parents now, we schedule playdates, attend all kinds of classes, color, read out loud in funny voices, sing in public, dance to Kidz Bop, hide in closets, spend money on activity after activity.. the list goes on!  We (generally speaking) love our parents and couldn't imagine life without their direction.  If you had those super supportive, extremely loving, & accepting parents (guardians) ... jump up and click your heels.  Lol.  Honestly, I don't have memories of watching kid movies with my folks, going to Disney World & riding on their shoulders, I did whatever they did, etc.  But that's not to say I had a bad childhood.  For many of us creeping into (or already in) the 30+ club, the focus was different.  I don't know that our parents were concerned much with whether or not we were satisfied, fulfilled, happy, balanced, or aware.  They wanted us respectful, monetarily successful, no criminal record, & independent.  

My issue with that is that we lost a sense of INTERdependence.  We never learned how to peacefully meet the needs of those we love most AS WELL as ours.  We never learned how to be mindful, self conscious  and aware.  They forgot to instill compassion and empathy.  Passion and love.  I can count on two hands and two feet (myself included) the number of friends that are currently (or have recently) started "finding themselves."  All accompanied with a shift in vision or career change or something.  Something switched and all of a sudden we realize there's a freer, healthier, happier way to live.  So, did our parents raise well rounded adults?

• Yes, we are respectful.  And many of us focus so intently on "respect" that we lose sight of what it truly means to respect someone else's being.  
• And yes, we have the skills (and many of us have invested years of college) to be corporate powerhouses and work ourselves right into retirement.  So much so that we work hard at someone else's dreams hoping that one day we'll have enough time to work on our own.  
• Darn straight we're independent.  So independent that a large percent of us don't know how to put faith or trust in anyone for fear of losing control of "our own." 

Are these the kind of children we want to raise?  As parents, aren't we compelled to want to keep our children safe from the struggles we know?  Or, in the very least, show them that there's an easier way to work through it?  OF COURSE!!!  That's why we do all the things I mentioned before (playdates, activities, etc).  Mommies, we are raising a more conscious generation .. Are you READY?!  I want my boys loving, caring, confident, mindful, well mannered, respectful (truly), and passionate.

Picture: www.triadmomsonmain.com

With ALL of that being said ... HOW, right?  If those seeds were never cultivated in us, how do we cultivate them in our children?  START NOW!  There is no "right time" to get mindful.  Take a moment.  Close your eyes.  Feel and hear your own breathing.  Open your eyes & change your direction.  Practice.  My current book (see: last blog) is a milestone in this process for me.  It continues to feed me the motivation and information I need to keep focused (oh yes, it's hard).  How do you keep at it?  Challenge yourself.  

  Earlier this week I found an older blog that had a "Mommy Challenge" ... 52 weeks to rebuild the relationship with your children!  I DARE YOU!  I support you!  We support you!  Take the challenge with me.  Every week I will post the challenge, the link to the original blog post, and a blurb about the challenge. Don't be afraid to get involved!  Share your stories with me in the comments or email dominiquepap@gmail.com (I will email back).  We are mindful mommies in progress and we MUST stick together. Lol.

Hosting blog: www.liveafabulesslife.com

Mommy Challenge: Week 1 

(click ^^ for the original blog host)

Eat with your kids. Turn off the TV/cell phone/iPad.

Needless to say the benefits are almost endless.  Early on we're taught to speak when spoken to.  But how often did we feel that they were genuinely interested in hearing about our day?  Showing your children that you are listening to the things that are on their minds most makes them feel secure.  They learn what it's like to have true compassion for what another person may be experiencing.  They figure out how to verbalize their emotions and gain confidence in speaking & story telling.

At least three times this week, eat with your kids, listen, & share.

Ready?  Set.  GO!
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About Mindful Mommy Monday Blogger

Dominique is an owner of In Focus Business Solutions, LLC, mother of two, wife, and student.  She is an experienced Customer Service Trainer and pushes awareness and mindfulness to the forefront of her work.  Her community work is done with mommies and assisting people re-entering the work force.  For more information on iFBS, llc or to contact Dominique email her at: dominiquepap@gmail.com