Happy Monday Mommies!
How has everyone's week been? Productive I hope! <3 Ti's the season to deck the halls and such. My grandmother is coming to town. I'm excited and nervous. Lol. She hasn't met Jackson yet and the last time I saw her I was pregnant. She's a real churchy no holds barred kinda lady! But I missed her. So needless to say I need to get to cleaning the baseboards (please sense the sarcasm.. lol).
This week SPEECH has been putting itself in my face. Speech as in, the tone our children use, the vocabulary, manners, etc. Oh man, is it a big deal around our house. Hoot #1 picks up EVERYTHING that comes out of our mouths and exactly HOW it comes out. And I mean EVERYTHING.. we could be whispering.. turning away from him.. in another room.. YOU NAME IT! But in the past few months I've noticed that most of our issue was with HOW he's speaking to us. His tone of voice and things like that. He grunts, rolls his eyes, and sucks his teeth a lot. And while we were trying to change those behaviors .. it hit me .. WE DO THAT. When we're frustrated, uninterested, etc .. our tone, body language, facial expressions, and speech tell it all. How could we not expect him to do the same thing, it's what we've 
Do you say it?! Some of my friends just genuinely enjoying cursing. Just to feel the words fly off of their tongues thrills them (granted, those friends and reminded to be mindful when the kids are around). Lol. But we speak how we speak (no judgement - think about your language) and expect our kids to do something differently. We are expecting them to do something they've never been taught to do. Our children pick up how we speak to them and the people around us (laid back & candid, stern & exact, soft & kind) then speak to us that way. They learn how to interact with other people from watching how we interact with other people & what kind of behaviors we encourage them to show.
Hoot #1 sees that I talk to almost anyone. I'm, by nature, a loving and social person. So, in turn, he speaks to EVERYONE. Around the end of the summer we went to Ocean City, MD for a little family get-a-way. We were staying in a hotel along the beach; so of course we had partying college kids as hotel neighbors. -_- On the way into the room we're on the elevator with a chatty bunch. And as people do, they started talking to my dear Hoot. Lol. He chatted back and made them laugh (he LOVES making people laugh). When we got off at the same floor he said "This is your room 202!" - which was right next door to ours. Truly, it was a childs luck that he was right. Lol. They were in the room right next to us and they were impressed. "Oh my goodness! How'd you know?! You're so smart!" They started praising him up (which he loves). So we walk into the room and I start telling everyone what just happened. Elijah is beaming from ear to ear and says "He said I was so smart right mom?!" I say yes and in true happiness and laughter he says "Man, I'm a smart ass right mom?!" ... SKKRREECCHH!! Lol. Of course the adults freeze and start trying to figure out how to respond. We were cracking up inside. We finally got it together and didn't miss a beat "Yes baby but don't say that. Say smarty pants." He made a mental note and said "Yes, maam." Have we ever called Elijah a smart ass? Yes. Lol. To him or with him around? No! But still he'd picked it up. This was a light bulb moment for me.
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| Ten Toxic Words |
Now I ask, are you having a problem with how your child speaks to you? Examine your speech. Be mindful of how you respond to things that are annoying you, making you mad, or getting you bothered. Be sure to use kind and loving words with your child, even in times of consequence. It is VERY possible to be kind & stern. Check in with how you're responding to when they speak poorly. Also, how are people speaking to you and how are you responding? As parents (especially mommies) we are our child's first guide for how the world around them works. What is acceptable and right. We expect a lot from our children because we think they should "know better." Just because they can repeat to us something we've told them ("You are a child! Do NOT speak to me that way!" "I'm grown mind your business!" "Do not be disrespectful!"). Keep in mind, they've memorized a rule - this doesn't mean that they've learned a lesson. They have no idea what any of that means. It's just more words that they are trying to figure out - which they're learning from you. So when you feel yourself getting angry with something they're saying (or how in our case) - take a deep breathe, think "Have they seen/heard this in our home", and then use the words you'd like them to use. Again, a conscious and mindful change has to be made in us so that we can see a change in our children.
:-) I'll always say: Well behaved children have well behaved parents! <3 Lol.
Resources:
New book next week mommies!
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| See the preview. Buy the book. |
Now, about this Mommy Challenge. How are we doing? Well I hope!! This week I did stay on top of my expectations of Hoot #1. I made sure that I'd given him the tools to do what I needed him to do. I also allowed him to do more. He helped me serve dinner last night and when he wanted more Daddy Hoot & I let him go right on ahead and get it himself. He was great. The cornbread is demolished on one side, but our son is happy. Lol. I've also been attempting to keep the earlier weeks in mind. Let's not lose one lesson for a new one!! <3 Each week will become more and more challenging and we become more and more mindful.
Mommy Challenge: Week 4 Stay Positive Show Praise
(click ^^ for the original blog host)
Remaining positive even in times of frustration is hard! But what will our babies gain from our positive outlook? How will they feel knowing that it's ok for mistakes to happen?
Man. These challenges are hitting the nail on the head with our posts. Stay positive. I can promise you will see a change in your child. We did! I'm going to have to find this video of Hoot #1 when he was two, SCREAMING .. yelling .. acting out! Since Daddy Hoot and I have been making a conscious and mindful effort to change our speech .. his has made DRASTIC changes. Our children need us to advocate for them and support them, even when they're "bad." We have to make sure we're speaking in kind to them and people around us.
I'm our biggest cheerleader.
We can do this mommies! <3 Through support and inspiration we're unstoppable! <3
Thank you so much for sticking with me and give my Vlog a peek on YouTube.
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About Mindful Mommy Monday Blogger
Dominique is an owner of In Focus Business Solutions, LLC and Jane Doe, LLC, a mother of two, wife, and student. She is an mixed media artists and experienced Customer Service Trainer. She pushes awareness and mindfulness to the forefront of her work. Her community work is done with mommies and assisting people re-entering the work force.
Dominique is an owner of In Focus Business Solutions, LLC and Jane Doe, LLC, a mother of two, wife, and student. She is an mixed media artists and experienced Customer Service Trainer. She pushes awareness and mindfulness to the forefront of her work. Her community work is done with mommies and assisting people re-entering the work force.
To contact Dominique email her at: dominiquepap@gmail.com
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