Mindful Mommy Monday: Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Monday Monday Monday!

(grunting & smiling)

So this is the week before I marry Daddy Hoot, Jane Doe has an event, managing clients, and finalizing my customer service training curriculum.  In addition to the family.  The best way to work through the chaos is with a wide smile, bright heart, and strong back! Lol. Moving onward!


This weeks post is called Liar Liar with good reason!  Little Hoot #1 has figured out the fine art of LYING!! It's not like lying when he was two or three and just shooting words without thinking.  "No I didn't do it!" "Yes it's mine!"  I'm talking REAL lying.  I see the contemplation on his face.  I can see his thoughts go "Does she know?" "Will she catch me?" The face is classic. Lol.  

The first time it truly hit me was a few nights ago.  I sent Hoot 1 into his room to put on his bedtime movie.  After a few minutes I went back to check on him and he was on his floor with a movie box open.  When I looked at him his face was already one of surprise.  So I asked, "Did you get the movie in?"  His face went blank for a moment.  I saw the little gears turning and he says, ""Yes, I did."  Of course, I'm mommy and I don't buy it. Lol. So I check and he immediately looks mortified.  Was his bedtime movie in the player?  No!  It was hidden underneath the player and one of his other favorite movies was in it.  Now, I don't know if he hid the bedtime movie or if that was just where he put it, but I was instantly mad.  "NO MOVIE!  LIE DOWN!!  YOU DO NOT LIE TO YOUR PARENTS!!" .. Regular mommy script.  Of course his lost it.  Temper tantrum.  Screaming.  Crying.  The works.  

I went in to calm him down and I had a thought.  Does my 5 yr old truly know what a lie is and what it means to tell one?  So I asked him, "Do you know what a lie is?"  He answered no.  We talked about the moment when you have a choice.  I explained to him, in my terms, that a lie was when you tell someone something that is not true or right.  You think about it and you say something not true to get what you want.  We talked about how lies hurt and they mess up trust.  This made me remember that children are working with a limited vocabulary.  And the words they do know, or at least think they know, have been learned using context clues (see the blog post on Perspective).  We've never had a discussion on exactly what telling a lie was.  So how could he be punished .. if it were simply a misunderstanding.  After out talk he was very remorseful and apologized - even said he wouldn't do it again. :-) We'll see about that. Lol.

Now, what do you do with your little liar. Lol. As always - respond in kind!  Your balanced and well thought out response is going to be key to handling the little liar.  Lying is a natural part of their development so don't be alarmed or start blaming yourself.  The biggest things we can do are; 1) deal with WHY they lied (shame, stay out of trouble, creative play, etc).  Children lie for many reasons and young kids, 5 & under, don't really understand the difference between telling a lie and telling a REALLY FUNNY story. Lol.  2) Be mindful that you're not trying to teach a lesson (and applying stern consequences) that you haven't learned.  Kids know when adults lie to them & they see when adults lie to each other.  3) Create an environment built on mutual trust and respect.  The more you're child trusts their relationship with you, the less likely they'll flock to lying. As always I'll put resources below for some reading up!

Resources: 
Power Struggles with Your Kindergartner: How to Curb Dishonesty
Why Kids Lie - Age by Age
How to Teach No Lying to a Kindergartner
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: Children and Lying

Our current reading!!!  How is everyone doing with it?  *hanging my head*  I haven't picked it up since last week.  Things are SO CRAZY!  But it will go with me everywhere for the next two weeks and I WILL have it finished in the next two mommy posts (in the Universe we trust - thanks Love).  Again, if anyone has read it - is reading it - knows someone that has read it .. Let me know!  I'd (we'd) love to hear your review on it.



Happy WEEK 6 mommies!!! <3 How did everyone do last week?  What did everyone celebrate and how?!  We didn't have any "large" celebrations but we have been celebrating the baby hoots.  Hoot #1 got mommy to bust a move in his school the other night. Lol. He didn't hassle the teacher about nap & I was totally stoked (for people that know The Hoots personally you know what this was exciting)!!    Hoot #2 is on his hands and knees rocking and rolling.  We turn into sideline cheerleaders when we think he's finally about to crawl!!  Lol.  Lots of celebrating going on over here.

Mommy Challenge Week 6: Mommy Mission
(Click ^^ for original blog post!!)

So. Week 6 is the Mommy Mission.  

What do you hope that your children learn from you?  What kind of morals do you want to pass on to them?  What kind of person do you want your child to grow up to be?  Reflection.  Reflection.  Reflection.  Think about the answers and ask yourself - "Do I display the qualities of what I hope my children gain from me?"

This next week is calling us to put work into ourselves. <3 Gotta love that!  You know .. we got this!! Lol.

Love you mommies (and daddies)!  
See you on YouTube!

- Mama Hoot

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About Mindful Mommy Monday Blogger

Dominique is an owner of In Focus Business Solutions, LLC and Jane Doe, LLC, a mother of two, wife, and student.  She is also a sculptor, mixed media artist, and experienced Customer Service Trainer.  She pushes awareness and mindfulness to the forefront of her work.  Her community work is done with mommies and assisting people re-entering the work force.  

To contact Dominique email her at: dominiquepap@gmail.com