Happy Monday Mindful Parents!
Usually,
posts are light-hearted, fun, and informational. As I went back and
forth over the past week with what to write about, it hit me .. I have
quite a few people around me pregnant .. and ALL 1st time mommies.
While sharing the joyful woes of parenting a 5yr old is fun &
helpful - some new mommy topics are VERY important to talk about.
This week we talk about Postpartum Depression.
No, I am not depressed right now BUT I did suffer from postpartum depression after Hoot 1 was born. I was the only one in my immediate circle with a baby, so no one fully understood what I was feeling or experiencing. I spent a lot of the bonding period with my new baby crying, feeling lonely, sick & in pain, depressed, and very unsure of myself as a new mommy. There was family around me but I felt totally alone & misunderstood. I went back to work ENTIRELY too early (Hoot 1 was 3 weeks). He stopped breastfeeding regularly and everything else just spiraled. I used to watch the Johnson & Johnson commercials of the mommy and baby all hugged up and playing and just cry my eyes out. I didn't have that feeling with my new baby. I was running day by day. As long as he was alive and I was alive - I just moved through each day. Sometimes, I still have sadness from not sharing those close bonding times with him. I didn't regain "control" until he was about 3 months old (when Daddy Hoot and I officially got together). Had I been able to fully express what I was going through and be understood, crucial closeness with baby could have been restored. I did not have anyone to talk to me about postpartum depression. I honestly didn't even know that's what I was suffering from until after I started to surface from it. I just thought I was sad, tired, and sick. But you have someone in your corner .. ME!
New mommies - postpartum depression is not a sign of weakness, something being "wrong" with you, or failure. It is sometimes just a part of pregnancy & birth; there is no reason to feel ashamed! Your body goes through a whirlwind of physical and emotional change when you give birth. In addition to being "disconnected" from this little creature you've been totting around for 9 months, your body releases an insane amount of hormones all at once. Remember how crazy you felt around months 2 through 7? Multiply that times 1,000! All of those hormones leave your body in a rush and after birth they still have to cycle out. Only now, there's not a little creature to help you process them. And let's not forget the emotional change. You feel less than whole, walking around rubbing your belly, waiting for a kick, seeing your feet (lol). THEN add on sleep deprivation, feeling completely confused, the crying little person needing you to know what she's crying about, breastfeeding on demand every few hours, your spouse looking like O_O, and the list goes on and on and on.
How do you know if what you're feeling is depression? Postpartum depression can start to rear it's ugly head around week 2 or 3 but not begin to reach detrimental levels until a few weeks after that (depending on the mommy). So if you're little bundle of joy is 3 months old and you feel like your head is capsizing .. speak up! I found an amazing list of symptoms and helpful solutions here. One of the most effective ways to help clear these feelings .. TALK!! To friends, family, your mate, your doctor, ME .. whomever. Just talk. Tell someone how you're feeling. Do not suffer through this alone. If you're already in an emotionally trying situation (problems in marriage, with family, no support system, etc) or have a family history of depression, then you are more susceptible to postpartum depression. Other ways to help, have fun, laugh, do mommy and me activities with baby - taking walks, yoga, exercise .. anything. Don't neglect yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. Even with all the resources and information you're doing this by experience and we all have to find our own way with our own kids. Be kind to yourself!
I know we have a good time with stories and crazy things going on with the Hoot Family. But I am truly a resource to everyone out there. If you feel like you can gain something from talking to me, email me, IG me, Twitter, FB .. I'm reachable! I will share every ounce of information I have and listen with every attentive bone if it will help someone in their time of need. For mommies that may be suffering from postpartum depression right now - you are not alone and you are understood! Please bring your feelings up to your doctor. The health of you AND the baby is his/her priority.
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| Postpartum depression affects daddies too! Daddy, talk to Mommy if you are feeling overwhelmed, unneeded, lonely, etc! Your emotions, thoughts, and health are relevant too. |
Resources:
Postpartum Depression
Postpartum Depression and Anxiety
Postpartum Depression Health Center
Whew, now that we've talked about that. My current reading is The Mindful Child by Susan Kaiser Greenland. It's a slow read parents. Lol. I have been looking at the direct difference between parenting books written by men and women. Maybe I'll do a real comparison once I've reached 10 of each. So far it seems that men are more result driven. Their books seem to be about a problem and a solution. The books written by women seem to be based more on strengthening connection and the whole child. Not just how to help them make better behavioral decision, be more responsible, etc. I also just checked out "Stress Free Parenting" so that's next. Lol. I love reading these books and doing their reviews. If you have a request or want more details that what's in the video reviews, shoot me an email.
So how was week 10 for everyone?! Hoot 1 is a super reader so we just up'd our library hoard! Lol. He joined the local library summer reading program and has already read his first 8 books. I also started kicking up and reading with him during quiet time here at home. Admittedly, sometimes I fall asleep while reading during quiet time .. but I have two kids. Lol. What do you want from me?! Lol. Also , Hoot 2 got books from the library. He enjoyed them a lot. Lots of color, textures, and interactive books. One even had a mirror. We included some baby proof signing books (which Hoot 1 used to become our sing language dictionary. Lol). It's been great!!
So, this is now week 11 (I will be doubling up on posts so we will run two weeks worth of challenges this week). This week are Using the Teachable Moments! So, as we already KNOW .. learning does not just happen at school. It happens through every moment. When they're at the store with you, work on the price of an item with a coupon. Work on primary and secondary colors when cleaning. Teach, Even when they "mis"behave. Use that time to show them about kindness, mannersaas, respect, and responsibility. Share what you taught this week. Comment on my FB page, tag me on IG @dPaPiYON #TeachingMoment.
I will try to have this video up this evening, if not, it will be tomorrow. I'm also videoing my 42 Days of Gratitude experience with Humbly Peax & Love. It's definitely been amazing. Catch the videos here!
Thank you so much for allowing me to share another week. I truly hope everyone gained something from this post. <3
Love, peace, & sanity to all of you!
-Mama Hoot
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About Mindful Mommy Monday Blogger
Dominique is an owner of Jane
Doe, LLC, a mother of two, wife, and student. She is an experienced
Artist Manager, Event Planner, and Branding Consultant. She pushes
awareness and mindfulness to the forefront of her work. Her community
work is done with mommies and assisting people re-entering the work
force.
IG: @dPaPiYON | FB: Dominique Papillion-Herr | Twitter: @dPaPiYON
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